Maurice!

I heard through the grapevine of the fertile advertising soil that you’re producing commercials now.  Congratulations on your exponential rise through the cutthroat world of local access television since our little jig with the law!  Allow me to suckle on this sweet, sweet ballyhoo nectar while I contemplate our luminous and profitable future together.

Not that our past isn’t lit with the warm neon glow of nostalgia, what with you taking a chance your Senior year, landing you in the back of a squad car on Graduation Day.  (I’d heard of shirt-cocking, but cap-and-gown-cocking?  That was new.)  Anyway, I promised I’d help you look for your unique way to pay me back for getting you down that aisle in time for “Pomp and Circumstance.”  And now, just a couple short years later, I’m still a man of my word… and your time to shine has come: a Saul Goodman commercial is just what I need.

Most lawyer ads are about as juicy as an old crouton.  Those decrepit “You may be entitled to compensation” text crawls?  Those unending, trance-inducing “If you or a loved one” announcements?  No, thank you.

Instead, let’s you and I dream huge -- think storylines, extras, special effects, maybe even a wardrobe change or two.

I’m not talking about breaking the bank here.  In fact, I’ve made plenty of ads on a budget with a couple ratty film kids (with no appreciation of the finer things in life, by the way) and a heaping scoop of razzmatazz.

When you sail the unsailed seas of broadcast bravery, your intelligent quest with me will be rewarded.  Much like Amerigo Vespucci, except with more amenities.  (Amenities like your lawyer not invoicing your parents for your hog-wild undergrad commencement gown romp.)

Call me, tout suite!

Yours in showmanship,

Saul Goodman