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As Witnessed in Shaun of the Dead and Misery, Household Items Can Save (or Take) Lives

It’s late at night. You’re asleep. Suddenly, you hear a crash downstairs: it’s an unknown intruder. What do you do? Don’t panic! Because if you’re a fan of movies like The Bourne Ultimatum and Shaun of the Dead, you know that ordinary objects can be surprisingly lethal if used properly. Here are six household items memorably employed in onscreen scuffles. Use them as you see fit.

Book, The Bourne Ultimatum
While engaging in a sprawling rooftop battle, Matt Damon’s superspy tumbles into an apartment and grabs whatever’s handy to take down his foe. In this case, it’s a hardcover book, which he proceeds to slam into his sparring partner’s throat multiple times. Call that book-smart self-defense.

Carrot, Shoot ‘Em Up
Clive Owen surprises a bad guy by shoving a carrot in the thug’s mouth, then punching it so hard that it comes out of the back of the guy’s head. That kind of resourcefulness will definitely make crooks think twice about breaking and entering through the kitchen.

Records, Shaun of the Dead
Simon Pegg and Nick Frost fought off an army of zombies by whipping old records at their heads, but their hemming and hawing over which records were disposable almost got them killed. Put aside a stack of expendable albums now for emergencies.

Scissors, Dead Again
Judging from this time-hopping reincarnation story, a pair of clippers proves a tried-and-true weapon. Emma Thompson not only gets killed by scissors in a past life; she also takes down her current attacker with them in the present. Talk about a two-edged weapon.

Stiletto, Single White Female
Jennifer Jason Leigh dresses up in roommate Bridget Fonda’s clothes and has her way with her boyfriend. As if stealing from Fonda’s wardrobe to trick her boyfriend weren’t bad enough, Leigh then uses one of her roommate’s shoes to stab him through the eye. Here’s the take away: footwear may be the best tool in a woman’s arsenal.

Typewriter, Misery
Being held hostage? Got an old Selectric on your desk? James Caan did and then hit his captor square in the face with said instrument. That action clearly spells out that any heavy object you can lift can be used to protect you. Take note.

Check out Single White Female on Tue., Oct. 4, at 3PM | 2C.

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