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Never Trust a Woman Out of Your League – and Four Other Lessons From The Matrix

According to The Matrix, in roughly 188 years we will have the capability to download information directly into our heads, making learning martial arts or a second language as easy as downloading a song. Until then, we will have to continue learning the hard way: watching movies and avoiding the mistakes made by Neo (Keanu Reeves) and his pals. Yes, there’s more to The Matrix than bad-ass action scenes. You can also grab some quick tips for living, like the following are the five lessons…

1. Beware a Women Out of Your League
When Neo is betrayed by the Woman in the Red Dress, allowing a simulated agent to bust a virtual cap in him, and messing with his training, he joins a long line of men who have been seduced by planted women. The key giveaway, the woman is always way out of the man’s league. So learn this: impossibly beautiful women don’t just come right up to you, even if you are the chosen one. She’s sabotaging you!

2. Don’t Take Candy From Strangers
Everyone knows that, right? But that childhood message may not have sunk in during, so take the example of Neo, who scarfs down a mystery pill from Morpheus. Smart! Inevitably, Neo wakes up disoriented, weak, hairless, naked, covered in goo, and connected to a bunch of wires. Which is precisely what happens when you accept candy and pills from strangers!

3. Always Dress Appropriately for the Office
Going into the office? Dress for success. Neo did not get the memo. When he and Trinity (Carrie-Anne Moss) attempt to rescue Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne) from a Government office building, they are clad in black leather, which, while fashionable, is a dead giveaway that they don’t belong among the blue and gray suits. Super-powered genius Neo really ought to know that dressing the part, whether on an interview or a rescue mission, is an easy way to get ahead.

4. Question Authority
For a guy whose brain just received half the world’s knowledge, Neo is awfully gullible. He gets duped by nearly everyone. Neo is toyed with by the Oracle, who goes all Obi-Wan mind control on him, telling him exactly what he needs to hear to later save Morpheus’s life. Following the Oracle’s brilliant puppetwork, Neo gets tricked yet again, by Cypher (Joe Pantoliano), the crew’s traitor. Don’t be a fool like Neo! Don’t trust even the most benevolent seeming authority figure!

5. Check References
In The Matrix, Cypher handles tech support. Yes — Cypher, the traitor! Perhaps the vetting process for that super-important job should’ve been more than, “Hey, want to join the revolution?” Even some basic listening skills by the crew would have revealed just how disgruntled Cypher was and how determined he was to return to the Matrix. You always need to check references, especially when your tech is concerned. You don’t want your systems going down, whether in the revolution, where consequences include death, or in the office, where consequences include lack of Facebook.

Check out The Matrix on AMC tonight, Tue., Jun. 14, at 8PM | 7C and 11PM | 10C.

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