The perils of teen sex. It’s one of the biggest tropes in horror movies, an element that came to the fore in seventies slasher flicks, but you know what? Horror-movie sex isn’t just for teens. Sex is the ultimate act of trust and vulnerability with another human being. (You are naked, after all — well, at least sometimes, when you’re not wearing that Spartan outfit, but you get my point). And what do we do in horror movies? Why, we betray trust and capitalize on vulnerability. Put it all together, shake well, and you get some rather brutal and disturbing demises.
Cue the modified LL Cool J, because it’s time for doin’ it and doin’ it and doin’ it dead. I give you the Top 10 Sex-Death Scenes.
This is pretty straightforward, as far as sex deaths go. If you get jiggy with a monster, bad things are going to happen to your face. At least Albert Molina has a nice tender moment with the hottie monster Natasha Henstridge before it all goes horribly wrong.
9. Evil Dead
Two words: tree rape.
The “lust” kill. Brutal and nasty — and lower on this list only because the films that follow show us even more gory detail. Morgan Freeman, Brad Pitt, one terrifying scene, and a quick half-peek at a Polaroid snapshot are all that’s needed to sell the horror of this classic David Fincher-directed scene.
Rape is a bad thing, as we all know, and in this bizarro horror flick, our friendly neighborhood rapist gets what’s coming to him, in the form of a girl’s private parts lined with — you guessed it — teeth. And lots of ’em! Said rapist gets sliced down under after he tries to take advantage of the girl, and, by “take advantage,” I mean “try to force himself on her after he bounces her head off a rock.” “No” means “no,” and, if you’ve got teeth down there, “No” means “say good-bye to your little friend.”
6. Species II
How about some really, really disturbing (cheesy, sure, but disturbing nonetheless) stuff from the sequel to Species? Girls, tell me the truth — is there anything as fun as having relations, getting pregnant, and seeing the new little one tear out of your belly before you even have time to light that postcoital cigarette? I’m guessing not.
5. Brain Damage
This one involves a scary mutant penis. And there’s oral sex involved. I think that’s all that needs to be said.
Never heard of this one? The orgy scene in this unknown movie goes way beyond simple shocks and gore. Okay, so it’s nothing but simple shocks and gore — but there’s a lot of them. And also bad puns, but, hey, it was the eighties, and the MPAA wouldn’t allow you to put a movie in theaters unless you had at least five really, really awful puns.
3. Friday the 13th Part 2
This one snags a high ranking because of its fame and notoriety. The “spear through the back-spear through the belly” two-for-one kill was one of slasher cinema’s early die-in-the-act scenes. Not the first, not the best, but the popularity of the movie and the scene’s graphic nature brought it to the attention of PTA groups everywhere. They were shocked, just shocked!
2. Dead & Buried
If you haven’t seen this mangler of a horror flick, do yourself a favor and go check it out. I can’t give you the exact reason the sex death ranks as number two, but it is absolutely one of the best plot twists in horror-movie history. You’ve probably never heard of it — and there are reasons for that. Some of the effects are done by a young Stan Winston (Aliens, The Terminator), so sit back and enjoy.
1. The Lair of the White Worm
Every teenage boy’s fantasy turns into every man’s nightmare. The smoking hot Amanda Donohoe is resplendent in thigh-high vinyl boots and skimpy black lingerie, but the poor lad in this scene runs into a spot of trouble, owing to her venomous nature. The phrase “easy on the teeth” is never more applicable. If you doubt this pick is a worthy number one, watch the scene for yourself.