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Horror Power Ranking – March 9, 2009

Last House on the Left finally takes the top slot, despite controversy over exactly how graphic the remake will be compared to the original. What was it Bertrand Russell said? Ah, yes: “The most savage controversies are about matters as to which there is no good evidence either way.” Thanks Bertie! We’ll just have to wait until Friday to see how things fall out. But until then, we have nine other topics of discussion to keep us busy:

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Horror Power Rankings
Rank LW Movie
1 2 lasthouseontheleft-75x75.jpg Last House on the Left
After slowly climbing up the charts for weeks, Last House takes the top slot. Now, I’ve had to defend my optimism for this movie to many horror fans, but I think my argument boils down to one simple fact: I’m right. You’re wrong.
2 hoxford-75x75.jpg Welcome to Hoxford
We don’t want to say we told you so, but we did. Months ago, we looked at the teaser poster for Ben Templesmith’s comic, and said it would be something special. Now it’s moving to film. Get on board this prison horror mash-up now.
3 bloodthelastvampire75x75.jpg Blood: The Last Vampire
The previous trailer for this movie made me think that it was going to be a bloody good time. The new trailer convinces me of that. It may be more Underworld that Let the Right One In, but we can all use a good vamp-action movie now and again.
4 1 friday13th0307-75x75.jpg Friday the 13th Part 2
A precipitous fall for the distinguished Mr. Voorhees, but sadly, we’re far more excited about our top three than this slashy sequel. Time and any news may prove us wrong, but so far, we’re not quite sold. Unless he’s in space again.
5 4 twilight2-75x75.jpg Twilight Saga
A slightly less precipitous fall for our favorite romancing vamps, but a fall nonetheless, as Blood: The Last Vampire makes us remember that blood-sucker tales can be actiony — and fun — which Twilight most certainly is not.
6 and-soon-the-darkness-75x75.jpg And Soon the Darkness
Finally, the 1970s British horror flick gets remade. Kidding, I haven’t heard of it either. But the good news is, the new Scream Queens, Amber Heard and Odette Yustman have been cast in the leads. We’ll wait and see on this one.
7 7 cloverfield-2-75x75.jpg Cloverfield 2
This holds even in honor of the aforementioned Odette Yustman, who, as Cloverfield‘s Beth, made the first movie bearable. Here’s hoping the sequel sees her friend, Amber Heard, searching for her body in the rubble of New York.
8 9 nightmare-on-elm-street-freddy-headshot-small-75x75.jpg Nightmare on Elm Street
Well, it’s official, as the release date has just been announced: April 6, 2010, whether we like it or not, we’re all watching a new Nightmare. Not to be confused with Wes Craven’s New Nightmare, of course.
9 the-haunting-of-connecticut-75x75.jpg The Haunting in Connecticut
Anyone know where this takes place again? Kidding, of course, but I just can’t get past the title, which seems to imply that the scariest thing that could ever happen is someone getting haunted… in Connecticut! Hide the fine china!
10 horsemen-75x75.jpg Horsemen
Who watches the Horsemen? Nobody, I’m guessing, as this Dennis Quaid vehicle gets thrown to the proverbial dogs this weekend. Quaid is definitely better than this third rate Seven rip-off, so we’re looking at this as a mercy killing.
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