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Horror Power Ranking – December 29, 2008

Ah, the holidays… It’s a time for gathering your family around a roaring fire, and then tossing them in that fire to call forth your devil god. That is, if you’re a character in my new screenplay, Home for the Horrordays. I’m taking offers, Hollywood. In case that doesn’t work out for me, I’ve still got the Horror Power Ranking, and we’ve got some great stuff to look forward to in January, like My Bloody Valentine 3D, and The Unborn. We’ve also got some movies to be cautiously optimistic about, like The Thing remake. So let’s get to it, and Happy Horrordays to all:

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Horror Power Rankings
Rank LW Movie
1 1 mybloodyvalentine3d-75x75.jpg My Bloody Valentine 3D
The fact that my wife turns to me every time we see a commercial for this movie, and says, “That’s the best tagline of all time,” despite the fact she never wants to watch horror movies, convinces me that this is gonna be huge.
2 2 unborn_poster2-75x75.jpg The Unborn
Yes, number one and two hold steady this week, but it’s Christmas, so people aren’t too interested in blood and guts. That being said, My Bloody Valentine is going to blast away the competition, but The Unborn looks like serious, fun horror.
3 6 underworld-rise-75x75.jpg Underworld: Rise of the Lycans
Is it so wrong that the thought of vampires fighting werewolves, while talking to each other in arch, faux-olde english sounds like the perfect antidote to holiday cheer? Also, Bill Nighy is awesome in everything.
4 thething-75x75.jpg The Thing
So you can get upset about Universal remaking John Carpenter’s The Thing, or you can remember that The Thing was also a remake, of Howard Hawks’ 1951 The Thing From Another World. So maybe this threemake will be even better?
5 body_snatchers-75x75.jpg Body Snatchers
Apropos of remakes, since The Invasion (the fourth movie adaptation of Jack Finney’s novel) was a huge failure, I started thinking about what would be next decade’s take on the tale. I have some ideas, but I’m curious to see what you guys think…
6 4 friday13th0307-75x75.jpg Friday the 13th
I’m starting to get worried that Jason may have peaked a little early. We haven’t seen hide nor hair of the be-hockey masked killer in weeks. When you’re more excited about a hypothetical remake of Body Snatchers, it’s time to get things rolling.
7 8 nightmare-on-elm-street-freddy-headshot-small-75x75.jpg Nightmare on Elm Street
Speaking of getting things rolling, and also apropos of remakes, I’m anxious to hear what’s going on with the Nightmare remake. It may be good, or bad, or even, but I’d just love to see some concept art. Make it happen, Hackers.
8 uninvited-75x75.jpg The Uninvited
The other “The Un…” movie, The Uninvited opens three weeks after The Unborn, and given the incredible pedigree of The Unborn, and the, um, not so incredible pedigree of The Uninvited, I’m sure this movie will get uninvited from theaters.
9 5 final-destination-3d75x75.jpg Final Destination: Death Trip 3D
It’s surprising that I’m so excited for the 3D remake of My Bloody Valentine, and so unexcited for the always reliable Final Destination‘s latest entry, but I think it comes down to the marketing, and they’re making this look bad.
10 9 new-moon-75x75.jpg New Moon
The more we hear about Twilight, the more its sequel seems doomed. From fights on the set, to cocky young stars, to the ongoing director’s seat scandal, this movie seems like it may be the biggest disaster of next year.
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