Catwoman‘s Villain Meets Her Match for Lame Superpowers” width=”560″/>
To say that superheroes are living in a golden age on the silver screen would be perhaps an understatement. You can hardly go to the movie theaters these days without running into yet another offering from the pages of comic books. But not all offerings are created equal — indeed for every web-slinger or billionaire in an iron suit, there are superheroes and villains with powers that just don’t quite get the job done. We don’t love these modern-day Don Quixotes any less — their shortcomings in fact endear us to their plight, whether it’s good or evil. Here’s a look at four characters who’ve dared to tilt at windmills.
Invisible Boy – Mystery Men (1999)
Despite being a glorified “League of Losers,” most of the Mystery Men have powers that actually serve a purpose. Blue Raja (Hank Azaria) is the master of cutlery, while Bowler (Janeane Garofolo) hurls a mean bowling ball. But Invisible Boy ( Good Burger ‘s Kel Mitchell) pretty much just gets naked. You see, his invisibility only works if no one, himself included, is looking. It’s a decent joke — and he has several in the movie that make his character worth watching — but as far as real superhero work goes, Invisible Boy’s contributions are just that.
Laurel Hedare- Catwoman (2004)
Halle Berry had to fight someone in Catwoman, so why not a marble-faced Sharon Stone? Ironically, Stone’s villainous cosmetics mogul didn’t get her supertough skin from overdoing it on Botox, but instead from prolonged use of a sketchy face cream her company peddled. Supertough skin is great — just ask Marvel’s Luke Cage — but when Catwoman can penetrate your defenses with her sharp claws and dull cat-related puns, it’s time to rethink your line of work. Perhaps a super living statue?
Magenta – Sky High (2005)
High school is tough enough, but when you go to a high school for superheroes you really don’t want to be the kid that gets picked on. Magenta’s (Kelly Vitz) power turns her into a Guinea Pig. Oh dear. Sure, she can crawl into tiny spaces, but all a villain has to do to defeat Guinea Pig Girl is stick her in a maze and let her tire herself out. Fortunately for her, the villain never figures that one out, and Magenta actually ends up boasting a short fuse that makes her a formidable ally.
Phat – X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)
A featured player in Peter Milligan and Mike Allred’s satirical X-Force and X-Statix comics, the evil mutant Phat makes only a brief cameo in Brett Ratner’s third X-Men installment: He shrinks down to fit into a seat during the evil mutant gathering. Phat’s power pretty much revolves around gaining weight — something The Blob’s already got covered — and really just makes him look sad, which isn’t necessarily a great trait in a villain. In the comics, Phat is a hilarious parody of rapper Eminem. On screen, he’s little more than a sight gag. But with all the X-Men Origins movies coming out, perhaps he’ll one day get a story that fits his girth.
What’s your favorite low-level superhero or villain? Leave a comment.Read More