And now we get down to the nitty-gritty. Sure, Van Helsing won a convincing Round One match against Nada from They Live, but that character was a one-hit wonder, not the massive monster-mashing franchise that is
Ellen Ripley of Alien fame. This Round Two match-up pits specialization against generalization. Ripley kills aliens. That’s it, and that’s all. Van Helsing kills all kinds of monsters.
Tale of the Tape:
• Strength: Ripley (she’s part alien now… I know, I know, unbelievably stupid plotline, but it’s on film, so it is what it is).
• Weaponry: Van Helsing (His gadgety stuff gives him the edge, anyone can point and fire a gun).
• Longevity: Van Helsing has been doin’ it, doin’ it, and doin’ it well for longer than Ripley, although she’s been doin’ it, doin’ it and doin’ it real well since 1979.
• One liners: Ripley (“Get away from her, you b—h!”) hands down.
• Confusing emotional attachments with monsters they wind up killing: Tied.
It’s a toss-up, folks. Judging by first-round voting, Van Helsing has the edge, but that’s why we fight the battles.Read More