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Horror Power Ranking List – August 25, 2008

This week, two newcomers take over the horror rankings, including a movie that won’t even see the light of day until next year. That means our previous leaders, Mirrors and Midnight Meat Train (aka, the M Squad) get pushed down the list. Otherwise, all the news this weeks focuses on (sigh) remakes.

Let’s see how everything stacks up:

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Horror Power Rankings
Rank LW   Movie (or Comic, etc.)
1 whedon_joss-75x75.jpg The Cabin in the Woods
Drew Goddard. Joss Whedon: October 23, 2009. Mark it in your calendars. This will be the best horror movie of all time. Better than Leprechaun in Space, Ghoulies 2 and Dr. Giggles.
2 CassieHack-75x75.jpg Hack/Slash
The Re-animator is back, and he’s in comic book form! Tim Seeley’s superlative riff on slasher movies manages to work Dr. West fluidly into the narrative, while amping up the horror and action. A must read.
3 1 mirrors-75x75.jpg Mirrors
Sorry, Kiefer. I’m just too excited about a movie coming out in over a year, and a comic book featuring a character who hasn’t appeared in the past five years to keep you at number one. Don’t take it personally.
4 2 midnight-meat-train.jpg Midnight Meat Train
Um, yeah, same thing for you, Meat Train. Look, guys, I’ve been pushing you both pretty hard, as you’re actually well done horror movies. But Whedon and West beat Mirrors and Meat any day of the week.
5 jack-brooks-75x75.jpg Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer
Our reviewer says that Jack Brooks is, “downright Canadian in its low key charms.” Hey, Canadian with a side of Robert Englund is just how we like our horror movies. Plus, all the throat-punching isn’t half bad, either.
6 4 fridaythe13th.jpg Friday the 13th
I’m starting to get cautiously optimistic… There’s good buzz coming off the remake, and a documentary, His Name is Jason, about the entire series, will premiere next Friday. Go to it, big guy!
7 9 rocky-horror-75x75.jpg Rocky Horror Picture Show
Tom Blunt writes, “I think the Olsen twins should share the role of Frank N. Furter,
speaking all the lines simultaneously. And I think Susan Sarandon
should do her own role again.” That sounds awesome. Tom Blunt for director, anyone?
8 itsalive-75x75.jpg It’s Alive
This three minute trailer for Josef Rusnak’s, yes, remake, of It’s Alive shows off the whole movie, and alternates between hilarious, and pants-wettingly frightening. For a tagline, how about, “You’ll never go into the crib again!”
9 6 twilight.jpg Twilight
In case you haven’t noticed, we only have two columns on the list: Rank, and Last Week. If we had a third column for “# of Weeks,” and you knew the number of weeks I’ve left this movie on here, I think you’d kill me.
10 poltergeist-75x75.jpg Poltergeist
Speaking of remakes… Here’s the deal. I can see saying, “Let’s remake one of Wes Craven’s first films.” I can see saying, “Let’s remake Sean S. Cunningham’s Friday the 13th.” But Tobe Hooper and Steven f-ing Spielberg? Stop it.
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