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Horror Power Ranking List – July 21, 2008

As the summer wears on, we’re getting closer and closer to horror season, which means a few early stragglers, like Mirrors, and Midnight Meat Train (both back on the List this week) will be hitting theaters soon. But first, I have to convince you all to go see The X-Files and The Mummy, which it seems like most of you don’t want to do. You’re wrong, and I’ll tell you why:

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Horror Power Rankings
Rank LW   Movie (or Comic, etc.)
1 2 xfiles-75x75.jpg The X-Files: I Want to Believe
Fans have forgotten how good the show really was and are starting to doubt that the new movie. But I can name two things that make this movie number one on my list: Mulder and Scully.
2 resident-evil-degeneration-75x75.jpg Resident Evil: Degeneration
I’m a complete sucker for this series. The first one sucked, and I couldn’t wait to see the second one. The second one was worse, and I went to the third on opening night. This one is animated, has no Milla, and yet, I’m still salivating.
3 5 mummy-75x75.jpg The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
I got into a long debate about the line from the trailer where Brendan Fraser looks at the camera and says, “Here we go again!” You’re either on board with that line (like I am), or you’re not seeing this movie.
4 1 hellboy2-75x75.jpg Hellboy II: The Golden Army
I know I went to bat for Hellboy the past two weeks, but there’s something else not appropriate to put on this horror list that is similar to Hellboy II, but better. You know, the big movie that came out this weekend? Mamma Mia?
5 3 repo-75x75.jpg Repo: The Genetic Opera
I made the terrible mistake of checking out the Repo homepage. Not because it crashed my computer, but because the songs play automatically, and are now completely stuck in my head. Thanks a lot, Repo.
6 7 fridaythe13th.jpg Friday the 13th
Though I’m still a little unsure why we need a Friday the 13th remake, I’m curious if anyone else saw the first official pic of the new, beefcake Jason and thought… “Yeah!!! Time to get slashin’!” Maybe that was just me…
7 midnight-meat-train.jpg Midnight Meat Train
It’s unfortunate that Meat Train, which comes out in a few short weeks, doesn’t have us as excited as Repo, or even the iffy Friday the 13th remake. So here’s a suggestion: Have midnight showings on subways. There. I just made you a million dollars.
8 mirrors-75x75.jpg Mirrors
I’m bringing Mirrors back on the list for a few simple reasons: Alexandre Aja is a good director; Kiefer Sutherland is a good-ish actor; and the image of Amy Smart tearing her own jaw off just keeps making me laugh, and laugh…
9 9 nightmareonelmstreet-75x75.jpg A Nightmare on Elm Street
This holds even on the list only because the idea of remaking Nightmare hasn’t left my mind all week. And the reason is, the original Nightmare is one of the only slasher films that’s also really good. If they’re going to do this, please do it well.
10 8 twilight.jpg Twilight
With the second trailer now out and giving us a clearer look at the plot, I have to say… There’s something supremely silly about a movie named Twilight, which is about vampires, that almost exclusively takes place during the day.

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