My youth was hard. Born on the meth-addicted streets of Malden, Massachusetts, I was born into a life of poverty. My only escape from this terrifying world of gang violence and starvation was to hang out on the street corner, sitting on my broken boom box, and spin mad rhymes about the plots of sci-fi movies I couldn’t afford to go see, with a beat formed entirely by the sounds my friends would make by puckering into their cupped hands and raspberrying.
Who knew that I had single-handedly created a revolutionary genre of meta-rap? Granted, my youthful rhymes were no where near as elegant as “The Predator Rap” by Mouthmaster Murf and DJ Mayhem of The Anomalies, expertly stitched together from the movie’s footage. And I certainly didn’t take nine months to compose my masterpiece, “CHUD the Police.” Still, a lawsuit has potential. See you in court, Mouthmaster Murf!
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