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The Scanner’s Top Five: Week of 1/7

1. Move over Da Vinci, the cast of Battlestar Galactica posed for a Last Supper portrait riddled with clues about the upcoming fourth and final season. Who does Chief Tyrol want to stab? Who’s the final Cylon? Why is Caprica Six posing as Jesus?

2. What could be better than three new Terminator movies starring Christian Bale? How about an Animatrix-style tie-in, Termination, due to be released in 2009? We see no need to Fight this Future.

3. The force is strong with this 11-year-old Brit, who chivalrously used his plastic lightsaber to fend off attacks from a would-be assailant. "I have a very bad feeling about this," was heard escaping Han Solo’s lips as geeks everywhere began strapping arsenals of Hasbro phasers and blasters to their belts.

4. Serve Jennifer Garner an extra-live portion of Gagh, because the actress has recently confided she wants to play a Klingon in J.J. Abrams’ upcoming Star Trek remake.

5. Hayden Christiansen, the actor who transformed Darth Vader from a Dark Lord into a whiny zit-popper, set his sights on cyperpunk by signing on to tackle the lead role in an adaptation of William Gibson’s genre-defining Neuromancer.

SciFi Dept Video: Kevin Maher, through his painstaking analysis of the 1980 SciFi musical The Apple, proves once and for all that American Idol is actually a means of controlling the proletariat via fascist propaganda.

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