Children are greedy goblins with sticky hands grabbing at whatever can either be gnawed on with their teeth or melted with a magnifying glass. Luckily, the ’80s Kenner Star Wars toys allowed them to do both. Personally, I spent a lot of time as a boy lusting after the various Star Wars toys paraded in front of me like prepubescent consumerist pornography on TV. When a new toy’s commercial hit the Saturday Morning cartoon line-up, my parents would come running after they heard my high-pitched shriek followed by the sound of a human skull colliding with the floorboards. That was a highly coordinated epileptic seizure which my parents could relieve only with an immediate visit to Toys “R” Us.
Ah, youth. I don’t regret it. What inspired this reverie of is this excellent post over at Cynical-C, rounding up the hundreds of Star Wars toy commercials on YouTube. Each and every one of them corresponds to a blue-faced temper tantrum of my youth (and the fraying nerves of sanity in the skull meats of my parents).Read More