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Look Out, Rome! Here Comes An Italian Spider-Man!

The 70’s and 80’s were a halcyon era of deliciously awful Italian cinema for the midnight matinee goer. While some works of true genius came out of the grease-oozing directors and hirsute, mustached leading men that drive the film industry of Europe’s dongle (we owe Dario Argento, Mario Bava and Lucio Fulci to this period, after all), most of the films that hit America’s shores were absurd macho dramas hastily re-dubbed into English by off-duty porn stars.

I’m a big fan of the Italian schlock of the 70’s, which is probably why I can’t stop laughing at this trailer for Italian Spider-Man. It’s not real, of course, but it doesn’t need to be: I love watching a flabby, Ron Jeremy type — his corpulence squeezed into a tight superhero jumpsuit — pretend to fight a bunch of Mexican wrestlers in the forest, then collapse against a tree gasping for another cigarette when the take is over. And while I don’t speak Italian, I’m pretty sure the language we’re hearing here isn’t the mother tongue of Mussolini: I don’t think "Ashutto your moutho, puzzy cat" or "Spider-Man a-super fitto,punch punch, run run!" would actually get you anywhere in Rome.

Italian Spider-Man Trailer [Yahoo Videos]

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