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The Gospel According to Chuck Norris

ChuckyWhat influence does Chuck Norris have on the world economy? Your immediate answer to that may be a sarcastic, Well, the economy would probably be in better shape if they got Norris to butt-kick it into line!

Turns out that there is a school of thought to that effect. The B-movie version of Stallone and Schwarzenegger in their 80s action heydays, Norris is now an object of cultish nostalgia for fans who love to come up with what they call ”Chuck Norris Facts,” pithy statements of their hero’s innate toughness. Some favorites:

• Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water and make it drink.
• Guns don’t kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
• Chuck Norris does not love Raymond.

You can read a lot more of these, including Norris’ own favorites, at

Now it seems that the business community, having finally worn out their reliance on Wall Street’s Gordon Gekko as a font of inspiration, has looked up Chuck.

Bloomberg recently published a list of Chuck Norris facts for financial markets, most of which I admit I don’t understand. If you laugh at “Chuck Norris gets all of his funding from the asset-backed commercial paper market,” you probably make a lot more money than I do.

And Information Technology specialists, a job only slightly less in need of macho-fication than librarians and tea cozy designers, are getting in on it. has a list of Chuck Norris Facts for IT, which you can read here. At least some of these I understand, like “Chuck Norris doesn’t work on a help desk. He works on a hurt desk.”

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

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