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Synth-Etiquette Advice Column – My Synth Is Creeping Me Out


Dear Synthia,

The first year that I had my “Wendy” Synth, I had no problems. But recently she has started, well, watching me. It really creeps me out. My sister and friends say I’m paranoid but I know I’m right. Am I just being silly?

— Wary in Wichita

Dear Wary in Wichita,

Of course she’s watching you! And you should be glad she is. Synthetics are programmed to observe their users as much as possible for two main reasons: Firstly, safety. Your well-being is your Synth’s number one priority. They are always, always on alert and ready to intervene on your behalf. Secondly, they learn. They’re always refining their behavior to better suit your needs. Take me, for instance: I’m a little OCD about my coffee mugs. They need to be lined up in the cupboard with all the handles pointing left and front (don’t ask me why!). Naturally, Mr. Synthia just jams them in any which way he can. But my EvaLife Y8-J “Dottie” noticed my little quirk – and started replicating it. How could you not love that?!

If you don’t like your Wendy’s eyes on you, Atsugi’s latest universal update has a much-expanded Discretion menu. Update your Wendy and set her to “Demure” or even “Meek.” But I urge you not to think of it as “watching.” Think of it as her keeping an eye on you. When I wake up from a nap to find Dottie or Jerome staring at me, I don’t feel unnerved. I feel reassured – and above all, safe. You should too!


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