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Hank’s Blog – Awesome Field Trips My Uncle Takes Me On


Hey everyone — Walter, Jr. here. I brought the laptop to the hospital again, but Uncle Hank still isn’t up for talking really. I guess the painkillers they have him on are pretty strong. Of course, he really needs them a lot. It’s weird — I’ve never seen him hurting so bad. He’s usually really, like, nothing hurts him. I mean, he’s a strong guy, but those guys who attacked him really messed him up.

Anyway, I guess it’s kinda funny that he’s on drugs right now. He’s always telling me about not doing drugs, which, I mean — I know. I did D.A.R.E. and everything already. I’m not dumb. But I guess he has to do it since according to him, a lot of people are really dumb. Not that he uses that word to describe them. It’s usually something like numbnuts or douchebag or ones I can’t say since my mom’s sitting about three feet away from me.

This one time, he decided to take me on, like, a field trip to show me that, I don’t know, drugs are bad or something. Which, like I said, I get already. Officer Bruce, who was our D.A.R.E. guy, made it really clear that our brains would basically melt or whatever if we did drugs. But my uncle took me to this totally sleazy hotel in this bad part of town. There were all these creepy people just hanging around who, I guess, live there. Some dude had horns in his head. Like, actual horns under the skin or something. I told my friend Louis about it and he didn’t believe me till we looked it up online. Now he totally wants them.

Anyway, there was this, like… prostitute. She was so gross but mostly really sad. She thought my uncle wanted her to, uh… service me. Which would be a whole other story that I probably would not be posting about on a blog my mom sometimes reads. She talked to us for a few minutes. You should’ve seen her teeth — so nasty. I guess that’s a meth thing. Uncle Hank was all — she’s an addict, and this is what happens when you do drugs! Now, I’m pretty sure that if I ever did drugs, I wouldn’t end up like that, but I got his point. Uncle Hank was so serious. I know it’s bad, but the whole thing was really funny.

I get what he was doing, though. And I appreciate it. He’s always looking out for me.

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