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Marie’s Blog – My Kitchen Is Not a Human Rights Violation


Hello, Internet! OK, I’ve had just about enough of these emails from “HankLovr4vah” and “Da Purp-atr8tor.” Contrary to what Hank would have you believe, I did not hold a gun to his head and force him to live with our current collection of purple kitchenware. (Also, it’s not all purple. Several of our spatulas are more of a plum, and our wok is definitely lavender.)

Many is the Saturday afternoon when I have casually mentioned to my beloved spouse that I had plans to stop by Kitchen Things ‘n’ Such and invited him, quite generously, to tag along, even though I knew he would spend all his time in the glassware aisle, loading up on yet more novelty beer steins.

(I ask you, who enjoys drinking beer out of a mug in the shape of a fat gnome? Don’t you think of gnome pee? Why is that somehow more fun than drinking beer out of a regular glass?)

Anyway, if you have any doubts that I take Hank’s wishes into account, just consider this: Do we own a teacup Yorkie? No, we do not.

Have I wanted a teacup Yorkie for the better part of the last four years, ever since I saw a picture of Renee Zellwegger holding one in an issue of Us Magazine? Yes, I have.

And yet, as of today, we do not have one. So who loves their husband, I ask you?

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