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Hank’s Blog – Liar’s Club

Hanks_Blog_Hedder.jpgFirst of all, I just want to give a little shout-out to my commenters. I’ve got some regulars who always take time out of their busy porn-surfing (I’m just assuming here) to give me a little love or a little shit, whatever their pleasure, and I appreciate it. I don’t want to get into naming names because I don’t want anyone’s feelings to get hurt, but I notice you guys and gals. Now, I’m not quite as keen on what my nephew calls “the haters,” but everyone’s gotta have a hobby, right? I can take it.

On to business: I was on my way back to El Paso this week, but I got a big tip on an ongoing investigation, so I’ve delayed my trip. I can’t go into too many details, but I’m getting closer to reeling in one hell of a catch. Moby-Dick, if you get my drift. Of course, getting close to the big guys means wading through the drooling, moronic rabble in their employ. You should see some of these bozo methheads. It’s been said many a time, but don’t do drugs, kids. Seriously… do NOT do drugs.

Now, I gotta assume these blockheads were a few crayons short of a pack in the first place, but the meth… man, what few anorexic brain cells these cretins may have once had don’t stand a chance against that nasty shit. Idiots, all of ’em. Idiots and liars.

And don’t I love it when they start spinning their little meth-addled tales? Well, love may be too strong a word, but there is a certain amount of amusement in seeing just how bad people lie. It’s like they truly believe they’re the first mental defective to ever try to put one over on me. I have heard it all. Believe me! There’s nothing you can say that I haven’t already heard at least once before from Johnny the Junkie.

I remember this one guy, few years ago, tries to sell me this story about how the three baggies of heroin we found up his you-know-what got there “accidentally” after he tripped trying to pull up his pants, fell down a flight of stairs, and landed ass down between these three “totally sketch” dudes, dressed as clowns, who just happened to also be at this party at his friend’s place (apparently his “friend” was eight years old). He claimed that he “had an intuition” that Bozo, Ronald, and Krusty there were up to no good, but he just assumed all the balloons were for, you know, balloon animals. Yeah, judge didn’t believe the assmunch simpleton either, and he’s now entertaining other degenerates down in county.

Anyway, I gotta get back to it… I’ve got leads to chase down and a full on loser parade of imbeciles to question. Hooyah!

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