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Hank’s Blog – Take It Like a Man


I was thinking this week — no particular reason, really, just popped into my head — that a lot of people don’t understand how to behave during a routine traffic stop. It always amazes me when people mouth off to law enforcement. I mean, these are the people who can put you in jail. Yeah, THAT jail — with the bars and the daily violation of… well, you know. Hell, that is their ENTIRE job — throwing numbnuts who think they know better than everyone else into the clink. So, just a thought, yelling at them is not the best strategy to get out of a ticket.

Getting out of a ticket is pretty much an urban myth anyway — unless you’re some hot eighteen-year-old cheerleader… but even that’s lame. Have some respect for yourselves, ladies. Using your feminine wiles? Aren’t you above that? Didn’t granny burn her bra or something looking for the respect you’re pissing all over?

Anyway, the thing is that these cops don’t know you. They don’t know you’re some milquetoast father of two who can barely muster the cajones to use the old-fashioned animal cruelty-loving mouse traps to take care of little Jerry. All they see is the psycho nutbag screaming at them about their God-given rights.

Now first of all, I don’t see God’s signature on the Constitution. God’s kinda busy, moron — He does not give a shit about your right to run a red light. Secondly, working law enforcement is dangerous. These men and women are risking their lives just putting on a uniform. Oh, everyone likes to talk about respecting those who serve. They give to the charity funds for those “brave officers” and put the little decals on their cars. But when they get pulled over? Yeah… that changes things, doesn’t it? Suddenly those “brave officers” are just the assholes making you late for happy hour.

So, take your medicine, and just accept the damn ticket. Stay in your car, thank the officer, and get your lazy ass to your court date if you feel the need to spout off about how you totally weren’t going 80 in a school zone or how you believe that Stop sign was merely a thoughtful suggestion.

I admit that society’s rules can be really dumb sometimes. But people? Man… people are even dumber.

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