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Hank’s Blog – Let Your Pal Hank Wipe Those Tears Away

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And I’m back! Yeah, baby… the Hankster has made his triumphant return to the interwebs. Did you miss me? You did, right? Just a little, maybe..? MORE than a little? Well, no need to cry yourselves to sleep anymore. I am here to brighten your nerdy lives.

I left because things were getting hairy with the family, and let me tell you… that ain’t changing anytime soon. Here I am in the middle of it, too. As you all know, my absolute favorite place to be. Well, that or a Lady Gaga concert… or maybe on the receiving end of a swift kick to the nuts.

I mean, I really don’t give a damn about what goes on behind closed doors, so long as it’s generally legal. I mean that… a lot. Don’t give a damn. So please, do me a favor — keep that crazy crap behind closed doors. I like my life as is — clean and (mostly) drama free.

My wife, now. If she could have one superpower (of course, one would never be enough for her, but we’re talking hypotheticals), I think it’d be to be invisible, just so she could spy on everyone else. She would be so happy, I almost want to invent some invisibility ray just so I could see the smile on her face. Of course, the idea that no one could see her would eventually kill her. Well, probably not so much “eventually” as “immediately.” How can you be the center of attention when you’re invisible? Man, I’d pay to see that go down.

So, it looks like I’ll be stuck dealing with all this annoying personal shit for a while. Don’t get me wrong, I care about my family, and I am there for them when they need me. But, I really would rather have bamboo shoved under my fingernails than, you know, have to navigate someone else’s marriage. Mine’s hard enough. Therefore, I figured I might as well hold on to the blog so I can have a little outlet to vent. I don’t generally keep things to myself anyway, but the nice thing about this blog is that it doesn’t talk back. For the most part. I mean, some of those comments can get a little snarky, but y’all got nothing on my wife. Though, I think I’d like to see you try. Good to be back, my friends!

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