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Hank’s Blog – Call Me Susie Homemaker


There are things they don’t teach you when you’re training to join the DEA. I mean, they prepare you as much as it’s possible to prepare someone for the lawless junkie hordes we face everyday. However, there are certain aspects of everyday life as an agent that aren’t covered in training. For example, getting sweat stains out of body armor.

Look, I’m a guy — I sweat. Sorry for being a man. I mean, I live in freaking Albuquerque, which becomes the left armpit of hell during the summer. Yeah, yeah, it’s a dry heat — my ass. The heat may be dry but I’m producing enough sweat to drown a small army. And you know, this body armor we wear does not exactly, shall we say… breathe.

Now I’d say screw it and leave the sweat stains as they are, but you know, I’m representing the DEA, so I gotta answer to the bossman. And the bossman says sweat stains are unsightly. So I gotta break out the white vinegar, do a little soak, and voila! Good as new. Of course, then you smell like vinegar. Which, come to think of it, kind of smells like B.O. Guess it’s a toss up.

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