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Hank’s Blog – Kicking Cancer’s Ass


It’s been a little while since I updated all of you faithful blog readers about my brother-in-law and his health issues. But first, I gotta take a moment and say you guys are the best. (Or, possibly, possessing just a little too much free time. Just kidding — you’re the best.) The response to this little blog of mine has blown me away. I had no idea so many people read these things, much less would want to read mine. Of course, I have always been a popular guy. Everybody wants a piece of the Hankster! Nah, just messing with you. Well, not really, but I don’t want anyone thinking Gomie’s right when he says that my head’s getting too big to fit through the door.

Anyway, this entry is not about me. It’s about my brother-in-law Walt, who is also an interesting person… or so I’ve been told. Ha, I’m just busting his balls a bit since he got some good news the other day. Gotta give him some shit, right?

Walt had a big chest scan — my wife is adamant that I mention the kind of scan he got, so it’s a PET-CT scan. She does these things every day at her job. She’s the resident Kleinman radiology genius in all things scanning. There, happy Baby? Anyway, it’s like a PET scan and a Cat scan combined. By the way, what is it with all the animal references? Will he have to take a Dog scan next? Maybe a little Hamster scan. (Betcha Richard Gere’s had one of those. Ha! No wait, that was a gerbil. My bad.)

Walt got the results the other day and, drum roll… he’s had an 80% tumor shrinkage. Eighty effing percent! I never thought I’d be so happy to hear the word “shrinkage,” if you know what I mean. I never knew the guy had it in him, but he freaking kicked that cancer’s ass. He’s like Godzilla, stomping all over Tokyo.

He’s still got the damn disease, but everyone’s got some hope now. My nephew gets to keep his dad around for a while. And my soon-to-be-born niece gets to spend some time with the old guy. That is, if Sky ever drops that kid. Jeez… it’s like the longest pregnancy ever. I think my sister-in-law may be about yea close to going totally ball-chopping psycho if she doesn’t have that baby soon. She’s gonna birth a five year old at this rate. At least there won’t be any diapers to change.

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