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Listen Up, Bro – I, Love You Man and Top Gun Are Chick Flicks in Disguise

I, Love You Man and Top Gun Are Chick Flicks in Disguise” width=”560″/>

As everyone knows, Hollywood doesn’t think the average moviegoer is very smart. That goes double if the moviegoer happens to be a guy. Evidently, they think guys can be tricked into watching just about any flick if there are sports, explosions or even the slightest possibility of female nudity! For our purposes, we’ll define a chick flick as a movie centered around a guy who other guys might think was fun, who then completely changes himself in order to impress a woman. Alas, judging by what many guys consider their favorite movies, Hollywood might be right. These movies, chick flicks hidden in the guise of guy movies, provide living proof that perhaps men are just as dumb as they think.

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Bull Durham (1988)
This beloved baseball flick isn’t a sports movie at all. It’s a chick flick that seamlessly combines Kevin Costner’s two favorite past-times: Romantic comedy and baseball. In a true sports movie, a love triangle wouldn’t be the center of attention. Sports would. Look at Rudy (1993). There’s technically a love triangle: Rudy’s brother marries his ex. But after rearing its ugly head, the love triangle makes way for the drama on the field. As it should.

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Fever Pitch (2005)
This one also attempts to hide its rom-com nature by making it seem like a movie about sports. But here’s how Fever Pitch
tips its hand: Drew Barrymore has dumped Jimmy Fallon over his Red Sox
obsession, so he sells his prized season tickets to prove his love. She
gets wind and stops him at the last minute. In a real guys movie,
Fallon would’ve kept the damn tickets and an even hotter woman would’ve
shown up and fallen in love with him. Obviously.

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I Love You, Man (2009)
Nope,
the hidden chick flick element isn’t the bromance between Peter (Paul
Rudd) and Sydney (Jason Segal). Guys need friends too. The real problem
here is Rudd, whose character is so awkward and annoying it’s hard to
imagine any guy — much less an awesome-seeming dude like Sydney —
would want to hang out with him. At the beginning of the movie he
literally has no male friends at all, which makes sense: It’s only
women who like guys like Peter. Chick flick alert!

jerry-maguire-125.jpgJerry Maguire (1996)
What’s the difference between Jerry Maguire and every Hugh Grant movie? Well, Jerry Maguire is good. After that, not so much. How many guy movies have a romantic catch phrase? Zero! Meanwhile, Jerry Maguire
has the infamous “You complete me.” Thus, the movie is, by definition,
a chick flick. Sidenote: Also present are the trappings of a fake guy
movie: Lots of sports talk and a shameless attempt to lure guys in by
opening with Kelly Preston having an orgasm.

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Top Gun (1986)
The
blockbuster ’80s fighter pilot flick is the quintessential chick flick
wrapped in an action movie. Tom Cruise set the stage for his role as
Jerry Maguire by playing a hot shot pilot haunted by daddy issues which
only therapist-babe Kelly McGillis can cure. Along the way, the
infamous shirtless volleyball scene featuring a sweaty Cruise and Val
Kilmer provides the best evidence that this is a movie for woman. Guys
don’t want to see that stuff.

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Tin Cup (1996)
Like Bull Durham, Tin Cup
features Kevin Costner, fake sports flick elements, and surprise,
surprise… a love triangle! Subbing in for Susan Sarandon is Rene
Russo, which, while an upgrade as far as chick flicks are concerned, is
not enough to bring this shameless romance back from the brink. Too
many love scenes. Not enough golf. The closing argument: The movie’s
tag line is “Golf Pro. Love Amateur.” 

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Wedding Crashers (2005)
The opening scenes of Wedding Crashers
are a frenetic paean to everything guys want in a movie. There’s
partying. Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson bed beautiful topless woman
after beautiful topless woman. And then the wheels come off and before
you know it, you’re in the middle of a romantic comedy
centered around Owen Wilson and Rachel McAdams. They ride bikes
together. They kiss on the beach. And everyone watching wonders if
they’ve been duped into watching The Notebook (2004) instead.

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The Wedding Singer (1998)
Don’t
let Adam Sandler’s hilarious shtick fool you. This one should come with
a warning label for guys. Compare it to Sandler’s two prior hits: Billy Madison (1995) and Happy Gilmore
(1996). In the former, Bridgette Wilson shows up as a school teacher
who plays academic strip poker. In the latter, Julie Bowen dons
lingerie and holds pitchers of beer. In The Wedding Singer, Barrymore is sweet, innocent to a fault, and doesn’t even consider removing her clothes. No thanks!

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