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My Bloody Valentine 3D Review – Harry Warden Is Bloodier Than Ever

My Bloody Valentine 3D Review – Harry Warden Is Bloodier Than Ever” width=”560″/>

Even though I gave up railing against horror movie remakes long ago (they won’t stop coming, so why not save myself the headache?), I couldn’t help but let out a little Darth Vader-style “Noooo!” when I first heard about the remake of My Bloody Valentine. Genre fans seem to have a love it-or-hate it relationship with the 1981 slasher flick, and I fall squarely on the love it side. Although I figured that Hollywood would once again crap all over my heart, when I heard the words “three” and “dee” were attached to the new movie, I had to give the notion a grudging “Eh… it might not be that bad.” I’m a huge fan of 3D, so the prospect of seeing anything pop off the movie screen — especially if it’s a horror movie — gets me giddy like a schoolgirl with a crush. Walking in to a recent screening of My Bloody Valentine, I hoped the effects would at least be decent.

Dreamboat Tom Hannigan (Jensen Ackles) accidentally causes a devastating explosion in the mine owned by his family. As the inhabitants of the quiet, working-class town of Harmony deal with this tragedy, surviving miner Harry Warden wakes from a coma and goes on a rampage, killing 22 people before being shot by police. Unable to cope with his guilt, Tom leaves Harmony without a word to his girlfriend Sarah (Jaime King) or his best friend Axel (Kerr Smith).

Ten years later, Tom returns to Harmony with the intent to sell the
Hannigan Mine. Some things have changed: Sarah and Axel have married
and started a family, and Axel has been elected sheriff. Unfortunately,
some things haven’t changed: Someone who looks like Harry Warden is
once again stalking the people of Harmony. Yeah, “unfortunately” is a
bit of an understatement.

In this age of tepid PG-13 horror, My Blood Valentine
earns its R rating in a big way. The kills are creative, making the
most of the 3D technology, and the movie doesn’t shy away from the
gore. There’s also a scene that finds one very brave actress running
around and facing off against Harry Warden in nothing but her birthday
suit. This, my friends, is the stuff that slasher movies are made of.

In fact, My Bloody Valentine
is nothing if not a hell of a lotta fun. The 3D itself is quite simply
a gimmick used to the best possible effect here: There’s nothing in the
world like dodging Harry’s pickaxe and various body parts as they fly
out of the screen right at your face. Yeah, I ducked a few times out of
pure instinct and I felt like a complete idiot… but then, the entire
audience did the same thing and everyone ended up laughing. I haven’t
had such a good time at a horror movie in ages, and that’s clearly the
intent of writers Todd Farmer and Zane Smith, as well as director
Patrick Lussier — to give moviegoers a good time. The acting is above
par (especially considering most of MBV‘s contemporaries),
there’s enough of a story to keep your attention between the kills, and
as if that isn’t enough, there’s genre icon Tom Atkins, who’s an
absolute delight. As a horror fan, it’s a real treat to see him in a
theatrical release; believe me, it’s icing on top of the treat to see
what happens to his character in three big dimensions.

Fans of
the original movies should really put aside their worries about this
update — this movie is a perfect example of how a remake should be
handled. While it may not be quite as scary as its predecessor, MBV ’09 keeps the spirit of MBV ’81 alive. The plot has been changed enough to be fresh for Valentine vets, while the filmmakers made sure to include several key sequences that those vets expect to see. Seeing My Bloody Valentine 3D
is about the closest you’re going to come to reliving the early-’80s
glory days of the slasher movie. Grab your friends and have a blast —
just look out for the flying pickaxes. 

A fan of horror movies and scary stuff, Stacie Ponder started her blog Final Girl so she’d have a platform from which she could tell everyone that, say, Friday the 13th, Part 2 rules. She leads a glamorous life, walking on the razor’s edge of danger and intrigue.

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