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Rob Zombie To Take On Conan?

barbar.jpgBloody Disgusting is reporting that pungent, dreadlocked scholockmeister and musician Rob Zombie is currently in talks to direct the next Conan film.

It should be noted that I am a huge fan of Robert E. Howard’s original Conan mythos, before L. Sprague de Camp and Lin Carter got their hands on the estate. But I have to say, this news might be cause for concern. On the one hand, If Rob Zombie is talking about doing a Conan movie, dollars to doughnuts he’s seriously thinking of approaching Conan from Howard’s supernatural, Lovecraftian bent, which is a good thing if you like Conan fighting monsters from beyond space and time.

But Zombie’s track record is pretty hit or miss. I have a soft spot for his Devil’s Rejects series, though they are objectively (and purposely) trash. But his remake of Halloween was simply an embarrassment–we certainly wouldn’t want Conan reimagined as a psychotic serial murderer with an abusive childhood.

Crom, just give me the Milius-directed King Conan starring an aged Arnold Schwarzenegger that I’ve been waiting a decade for. Zombie’s not worth the chance.

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