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Piers Anthony’s Total Recall

TotalrecallMost teenage boys have rather shameful memories of watching Total Recall. Before the Internet’s endless pantheon of Photoshopped sexual fetishism, it was the only widely available artistic work that focused on the unattainable dream of a girl with three breasts. Sure, the film sullied the dream — far from being inserted in the hollow og a woman’s cleavage, everyone knows the third breast’s supposed to be on the back for dancing. But short of the Total Recall novelization (ploddingly authored by tin-eared fantasy ‘author’ Piers Anthony), the movie was all we had to make our strange perversion come alive. And boys like me? Our copies of the Total Recall novelization became grubby and dog-eared through years of shameful midnight fondling.

So it was a waft of nostalgia that I discovered this hysterical review of the Total Recall novelization over at Bookgasm, and they take pains to specifically compare and contrast the three-breasted-hooker scene in both the film and the novel.

Total Recall purists, rest assured: Piers Anthony exhausted his talent to capture the thrice-titillating ecstasy of the original scene:

He looked at her. He noticed that she had three full breasts, prominently displayed in a special bikini top. For any man who got his kicks in that department, here was extra measure!

I imagine Mr. Anthony leaning back in his chair after writing that paragraph, lighting a clove cigarette and sighing to himself, "Ah, le mot juste!" If you’ve ever asked yourself "What fine prose might Vladimir Nabokov have written about a Martian hooker with three breasts?"… wonder no longer! It could never possibly one-up Piers.

Better Than The Movie: Total Recall [Bookgasm]

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