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Monsterfest FAQ

We’ve got a bunch of new readers thanks to the success of our Bijou Phillips interview.  Her safety-pin trick intrigued a lot of folks.  I thought this would be a good time to go over some of the unique terms and vocabulary we use here, so you can orient yourself.

Goatlings – Our readers.  That’s you!

Blime
– Blog time.  The amount of time we spend discussing a certain issue.

Rema*e
or Re*ake: A classic film recycled for no reason other than the producer hopes to trade on its reputation

Splasher: An extra extra gory horror movie with a single serial killer as the antagonist.

Horrody: An intentionally funny horror movie like Sean of the Dead

Steve: A straight to video production.  A movie without a theatrical release.  Sometimes referred to as a Stanley Stever.

Laura La-Z-Boy
: generic name for a conservative resident of flyover country who likes her horror sanitized.

Taking Giallo Shots: Having a party where you and your friends watch several Italian horror films in a row.  A horror slumber party where the host could, perhaps, make Giallo 1-2-3.    

Cougar: A terrible special effect that brings you out of the movie.  The inflated plastic bag that is supposed to be a beating heart in Hellraiser for example.

Vicki: Generic name for someone killed in a horror movie.

Q: Can I get an example of some of these?
A: I tell you, goatlings, that neck scar was such a cougar, I couldn’t tell if the girl in the noose was the Vicki or if it was the viewer.  So bad, it should have been a Steve. We’ve already wasted too much blime on this lame splasher re*ake, I’m sure Laura La-Z-Boy has clicked elsewhere.
Q: Wasn’t this more of a glossary than a proper FAQ?
A: I reckon so
Q: Why isn’t it in alphabetical order?
A: The only place "organization" comes before "horror blog" is in the dictionary.
Q: Uh, no it doesn’t.
Q: Hello?

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