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Hank’s Blog – Fifty Isn’t That Old

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I was watching Sunset Boulevard the other day. Great movie. Just great. One of the few movies where the voiceover doesn’t beat you over the head with the obvious. Pretentious emo-douche filmmakers, take note — voiceovers aren’t your chance to show the world how wounded and special you are. Seriously… no one cares. I know — I’m being mean. Hey, go cry to mommy.

It’d been years since I’d seen it, maybe college (I took “film appreciation” — comfy chairs, dark room… hello post-lunch nap). Anyway, things have a way of looking different as you get older. Did you know that Norma Desmond is supposed to be 50 in that movie? Holden says so right at the end. Freakin’ 50! I guess when I was younger that sounded old, but now… shit. It’s a little too close for comfort, y’know what I mean?

And honestly, have you seen it lately? Gloria there was looking pretty hot. Not as cute as Nancy Olson, sure, but certainly not some dried up Cryptkeeper like she was made out to be. Makes you think. I mean, these days you’ve got my girl Meryl tearing it up… Sigourney, too. And don’t get me started on Helen Mirren. Damn. And these lovely ladies are all over 60. Poor Norma Desmond — she deserved better. Even if she was completely batshit insane.

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