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Hank’s Blog – On Souvenirs

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The guys at work gave me a gift the other week, and it’s a little unusual, to say the least. And not entirely appropriate, but I got a kick out of it. I had this case, and it ended in, how shall I say? A hail of bullets. Anyway, no worries… the Hankster came through it unscathed. I defeated my enemy good — but I want to make it clear, I acted in self defense. I follow the rules, and I would have liked nothing more than to bring that pusbucket in. Too bad that jackhole had other plans.

Anyway, this gift, well — it’s a piece of body adornment that this perp of mine liked to wear: One of those grilles (Like a car grille? Or is it “grill” like something you cook on? Or is it… OK, yeah, I don’t really care. Regardless, I’m sure some nimrod out there insists on calling them “grillez.”) You know, they’re the ridiculous plates that go over your teeth so you can’t talk worth a crap. Yeah, I had something like that in high school — it was called a retainer, and it wasn’t cool then either.

Not that the keeping of souvenirs is necessarily encouraged. And some people take it way too far. I heard this story about a guy, a mid-level official of a town I will not mention, who kept, well… I shouldn’t even say…

Okay, he kept this guy’s pinky finger. I don’t know, man, I certainly don’t get what makes someone do that. I say, if it can’t be easily removed from the person, best to just leave it, you know? I guess they’d had quite the rivalry going — I’m talking Superman versus Lex Luther kind of stuff (without the silly costumes).

On that, totally inappropriate (but this is after all the Internet) note, I’m gonna go back to admiring my fine new paperweight.

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