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Hank’s Blog – Public Enemy Number One

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Any of you seen these ads for that sleazeball lawyer, Saul Goodman? Wait… why am I asking? Of course you have — that self-promoting putz is everywhere. He’s on my TV, he’s on half the bus benches in town, he’s in the supermarket circular… I swear, I saw the guy going through my trash the other night.

He’s got to be kidding with those ads, right? (Although, if an APD officer who looked like the one in his ad pulled me over, well, she can handcuff me all she wants, no problem. I’d happily take a ride in the back of her squad car. She can read me my Miranda rights… all night long… if you catch my drift.)

Anyway, APD picked up this two-bit dealer who had links to a bigger guy that I’ve been after for a while. Gomez and I went down there to have a little chat with the scumbag and, lo and behold, he’s hired Saul Goodman — the walking ad for the immediate exile of all lawyers. Now, the Constitution is a great thing — don’t get me wrong — but the down side is it allows ambulance-chasing shyster pieces of shit like this guy to work.

Now it’s pretty hard to sully the already tarnished reputation for jackassery that lawyers have, so I guess I gotta respect him a little for setting a new bar. This guy’s so slick, he managed to work some crazy arrangement with the judge that got our little dealer here off virtually scot-free. I’m not really happy to deal with the dude, but I’m freaking Monty Hall if he can get this kid to point me to the big kahuna. I don’t care — I’d give my right nut to catch this guy. Well, maybe not my right nut, but I’d be happy to offer up Gomie’s.

So, after some finagling, we had a whole deal set up, and sure enough, that dumbass kid gives us the big guy himself. Of course, if the guy he gave us is actually the kingpin I’ve been looking for, then I’m Richard Simmons.

Far as APD’s concerned, they’ve got their man. The Hankster here is not convinced. I know that skidmark worked some crooked lawyer hoodoo or something. But, I guarantee I’ll find my kingpin. And if he thinks “Better Call Saul” can save him, he’d better think again.

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