Dante Tomaselli (Desecration) sent me the DVD of his latest horror flick, aptly titled Horror, with the disclaimer that it should be watched at night, with the lights off, and in stereo. Unfortunately I needed the lights, so I could follow along with the plot synopsis of this confusing splatter-fest.

More perplexing than Mulholland Drive, the movie follows five disturbed teens who have escaped from drug rehab and immediately start on a drug-and-slaughter bender. This launches a series of visions of the dead (including The Amazing Kreskin in a cameo role as a priest/hypnotist), oddball possessions, a zombie army, murders galore, and the appearance of a large, black goat. Tomaselli calls the narrative ‘deliberately ambiguous,’ which makes me extremely grateful to know that I’m not crazy in failing to comprehend the convolutions of Horror.

In the end, Horror has plenty of scary moments, but it’s so confusing it’s hard to be genuinely frightened. Imagine The Amityville Horror without the setup, or The Exorcist without knowing that Linda Blair is possessed by a demon. (Also, there are some really cool moments, a good score, and impressive photography, but the makeup effects are on the cheesy side.)

The end result is just kind of weird and spooky, but not even a herd of ominous goats can scare the confusion out of you.

Can’t hold a candle… or can she!?